Would she really tell me?

A few days ago I had the distinct pleasure of going to the doctor...just in case you don't know me that is sarcasm. Before my doctors appointment I went to lunch with a fabulous group of ladies. Oh if I could come up with the words to describe that...I can only say it was a Laurel and Hardy sketch....but I digress. At the lunch I had a hot flash, a sweaty hot flash. My ladies assured me that it was hot in the restaurant, but I am sure it was not tropical hot in the restaurant.

I am at the doctors office and handing my paperwork UP to the technician and get a whiff. An overwhelming whiff of BO. I go to sit in my chair, ever so worried that I am offending the others around me. I do the stretch and nonchalantly check my underarms. I didn't smell anything. After many minutes I am shuttled back to the inner sanctum by a different tech. We get to the room and...there it is again. Coincidence? Me in two places and the same smell? Uh-oh! I ask the tech to direct me to the bathroom. I go in there and do the nose to the armpit...clear. I stretch and turn and sniff every part that I can get into a yoga position to smell. Now there is a visual for you...I look like Elaine off of Seinfeld doing her dance AND one of the Cirque de Soleil acrobats rolled up into one self conscious mess. But I am still smelling it. Crap!

I go back to my room and decide to talk to the tech...I mean woman to woman I can ask her anything right? I mean she looks at strange women's yonder regions with the doctor. Right? So I ask, " Do I smell? I mean, I keep getting this whiff of BO and I am afraid it is me. If it is me, tell me so I can go home and clean up before I offend." She says, "No, you don't smell." It as at first, combined with a look that can only be described as a woman stuck in a cage with a crazed animal. But that look flashes instantly to a, "how do I look believable" look. Of course, I chose to take her at her word, I mean she would tell me, wouldn't she??? WOULDN'T SHE??? She leaves and I am left in the room wondering...would she tell me the truth? Is she outside right now blogging about the insane patient that asked her to smell them?

Incidentally, the tech came in with the doctor and said that no, the smell was another patient. And the face she made with that comment is indescribable. Man I would hate to be the doctor stuck in the room with the woman who smell so bad that OTHER patients are worried about their personal odor.